


The Boy Next Door

by Single_Man_Tear



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Deaf Castiel, Deaf Character, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Castiel, Kid Dean Winchester, Kid Fic, Kid Sam Winchester, Light Angst, M/M, Rating May Change, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-12 19:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4492182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Single_Man_Tear/pseuds/Single_Man_Tear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New neighbors. Four year old Dean had no idea what that meant. All he knew was that his mother was pulling him by the hand down the sidewalk toward the yellow house a couple away from his. He also didn't know what being deaf meant until he met little Castiel Novak. But that didn't mean he couldn't learn, and it didn't mean they couldn't still be friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Boy Next Door

**Author's Note:**

> Hello internet!! So I have always wanted to write a DeafCas au and here it is! Little baby Dean and Cas! I hope you guys enjoy! (No I won't abandon it, I have more to write and will post as often as possible!)

New neighbors. Four year old Dean had no idea what that meant. All he knew was that his mother was pulling him by the hand down the sidewalk toward the yellow house a couple away from his. His Dad and Sammy stayed behind to watch the football game (his Dad watched, Sam scooted around in his crib).

Mary and Dean walked hand in hand up the brick walkway to the front door, a couple of stray boxes waiting on the porch to go inside.

“I wanna ring the doorbell!” Dean exclaimed, jumping on his toes to reach. After a couple of tries, he finally pressed the button.

There was some shuffling on the other side and a twitch in the curtains as someone peered through the side window.

The sound of an unlocking latch and the door was pulled open, revealing a tall, thin woman in a blue sun dress. She wore a tight smile that even Dean could tell didn’t look quite right, but Mary ignored it and extended a hand to shake.

“Mary Winchester, we live a couple of houses down!” She said brightly with a warm smile.

The woman slowly took her hand and gave it a couple of shakes. “Addeline, Addeline Novak.” She replied stiffly, uneasiness heavy in her voice.

Dean had lost all interest and was peering into one of the open boxes on the porch. His eyes brightened when he saw the action figures, some army men, and stuffed animals.

“Do you have a kid?” He asked, coming up beside his mother. They both looked down at him in surprise. “There are no kids on my block so I don’t have anyone to play with.” Dean rambled on with an excited smile.

“I...yes, we have a son. Castiel.” Addeline replied, glancing over her shoulder.

“Could I meet him??” Dean asked eagerly, about to step forward but Mary caught his hand.

Addeline blinked down at him.

“Sorry, he’s a bit excited. This is Dean.” Mary explained and Addeline offered him a weak smile.

“Could I meet him??” Dean pressed and Addeline looked over her shoulder again. Dean peered around her, seeing someone toddling along in the background.

“I...I suppose.” She finally agreed, stepping to the side to allow Mary and Dean to pass. Mary thanked her and apologized again.

“There really are no other children on the block.” Mary explained. “A lot of Dean’s friends live across town so he doesn’t see them very often.”

Addeline nodded, tension rolling off her, making Mary uneasy, but Dean didn’t notice, taking in his surroundings with curious eyes.

“I’ll fetch him for you. I’m sorry you can’t meet my husband, he already started work.” Addeline called over her shoulder as she fluttered around, picking up a few stray toys before leaving the room to find her son.

Dean frowned after her. In his house, whenever someone was looking for him, they just yelled.

A few minutes later, Addeline reappeared with a little boy trailing behind her, partially hidden behind her skirt.

Dean leaned around her eagerly, trying to get a better look. The pair came to a stop in front of him and the little boy peaked around his mother, Dean catching a glimpse of bright blue eyes and a round face.

Castiel’s mother turned to the boy, motioning something to him. He blinked and nodded once, peering at Dean apprehensively. She motioned again without speaking and Mary let out a sharp breath of understanding, but Dean didn’t turn around. Addeline slowly stepped away, giving her son a gentle push. He stumbled toward Dean, glancing back at her before carefully looking Dean over, hands clasped shyly in front of him.

Slowly, he stuck out his little hand and Dean smiled, shaking it enthusiastically.

“Hi! I’m Dean!” He said brightly. The little boy’s eyes bugged out and he took a step back, looking frantically between Dean and his mother.

Alarmed, Dean took a step back, looking at Mary in confusion.

“What did I do??” He whispered, worried and confused.

Addeline was trying to calm the boy down, who was making small noises in the back of his throat, both of them motioning to each other.

“Dean.” Mary whispered, kneeling down beside him. “His deaf, sweetheart.”

“What?”

“He can’t hear you.” She explained and Dean’s eyes widened.

“He can’t?” He asked in confusion, looking at the little boy with the big blue eyes again.

Addeline straightened up, Castiel hiding behind her. He looked...ashamed. Dean looked down at his shoes, toeing at the carpet. He didn’t mean to upset the boy.

Suddenly, he got an idea. Turning around, he ran back out the front door and to the box of toys. Grabbing two action figures, he came back inside before Mary could even try to follow him.

Castiel saw him holding his toys and frowned, cocking his head to the side. Dean took a slow step forward and help one out to him. When Castiel didn’t take it, he started making motions with them, making them fight and bang into each other. Castiel blinked a few times and then a small smile broke across his face. Snatching one from Dean, motioned for him to follow and sat down in front of the couch. Dean plopped down beside him and the two proceeded to play with the little figures.

Addeline visibly relaxed at the sight, a true smile finally appearing on her face.

“He never does that.” She whispered, turning to Mary with a wide smile. “He’s never interacted with another child before.” She explained. “Most don’t understand what he’s going through.”

“I’m not sure Dean does, but he’s going to try.” Mary said with a warm smile at the pair of them, both throwing the figures around. Dean normally would make obnoxious sound effects to go with the motions, but as he played with Castiel, he didn’t make a sound.


	2. Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus! So much work, it was impossible to get to the computer!! I will try to post more regularly from now on! Love you all!!

Mary and Addeline had to practically pry their children apart that night. Every time Mary headed for the door, Castiel and Dean would disappear into another room, hiding in boxes or jumping behind furniture. Each time they were discovered, they would grin bashfully up at their parents before scurrying out of their hiding place to look for another.

It was only when Addeline invited Dean to come over for breakfast that the two finally agreed to separate, Dean waving sadly from the porch while Castiel pouted from behind the screen door, watching the pair of them walk away.

The sun was barely shining when Dean appeared at his parents’ bedside, poking his father for a couple of minutes before giving up. Trotting around to the other side, he began prodding his mother until she opened a blurry eye, seeing only the top of Dean’s head.

“Time to go to Cas’s?” He asked brightly, wide awake and already dressed just like his father in a jeans, a teeshirt, and a button up over it.

John was grumbling beside her, something about it being too early, but Dean ignored him, beaming at his mother, who was struggling to stay awake long enough to tell him to go back to bed.

“Mrs. Novak said I could come over for breakfast.” He insisted, pulling his mother’s hand from out of the covers and giving it a tug.

“I don’t think she meant this early.” Mary finally managed to mumble, peering at him through hooded eyes.

“You can have breakfast early.” Dean argued.

“I’m sure Castiel is still fast asleep and wouldn’t be much fun to play with right now.”

In the end, Mary won, gaining another two hours of sleep before Dean was back again and dragging her out of bed.

It turned out Castiel hadn’t slept at all. He had appeared every hour on the hour in his parents’ room, asking when Dean was coming. Addeline and Mary sat in the kitchen, huddled over their mugs of coffee while John and Castiel’s father, Chuck, got to know each other.

Over the next few days, that became their routine. Dean would trot into his parents’ room, poking whoever was closests, each one grumbling to the other, “It’s your turn.” before taking Dean over to Castiel’s.

No one knew what the pair of them got up to while they were together; they disappeared into Castiel’s room the second Dean got through the door. Their parents sometimes heard Dean’s laughter from upstairs, but otherwise it was always silent. Dean never spoke around his friend. He didn't need to anyway. They found their own ways of communicating, usually through looks alone. One glance in the other direction and they would both grin before running off on another adventure.

But when September finally came and school was about to start, both Dean and Castiel heading into kindergarten, Dean got some horrible news.

“What do you mean Cas isn't going to my school?!” He exclaimed over dinner, looking panic stricken as his eyes jerked back and forth between his mother and father.

“You know Castiel wouldn’t be able to go to your school just yet. He has to go to a special school, one that can fit his needs.” Mary explained.

“What needs?” Dean questioned. “He’s smart! Smarter than all the kids in my class! Did you know he’s already reading chapter books? Not little ones, but big ones!” Dean explained, sounding close to hysterics.

“Dean, he needs to be somewhere with people like him. He’s different.” John said, trying to sooth the hysterical toddler, but that only seemed to make it worse.

“No he’s not!” Dean shouted angrily, “Don’t call him that! He’s just like everyone else!”

“Dean-”

“Why can’t he go to my school? It’s not fair!”

“I know it’s not fair, but it’s what’s best for Cas.” Mary said tenderly, taking Dean’s shaking hand. “He’s special.”

Dean looked down at his now cold plate of food with a huff.

“Yeah...he is.” He agreed with a sniffle, pulling out of his mother’s grip and poking at his pasta.

The next morning, Dean pulled on his backpack and trudged over to Cas’s with his father in tow. Mary had already left, she was a first grade teacher at the elementary school.

Addeline answered the door with a sympathetic smile.

“I’ll get Castiel, he’s just about ready to go.”

When the little boy appeared, he didn’t smile, head hanging and shoulders hunched.

“I see you had about as rough a night as we did.” John mused and Addeline nodded, rubbing her son’s shoulder.

“Yes...he was not pleased to find out he and Dean wouldn’t be in the same class.” She sighed.

Castiel stepped out onto the porch and stood next to Dean. They walked side by side down the driveway towards Addeline’s car. Dean was taking the bus to school, bur Castiel had to be driven there. Neither parent missed the way Castiel caught Dean's hand and they both held on tight while their parents caught up. 

Cas opened the car door and turned to give his friend one last wave before getting inside. But Dean just shook his head before pulling him into a tight hug. Cas grunted in surprise but quickly returned to hug, burying his face in Dean’s shoulder.

Dean watched his friend get into the car and gave him a tiny wave, sadness he didn’t quite understand welling up inside him until his eyes started to sting. Cas watched him with doleful eyes, returning the wave halfheartedly as they drove away.


	3. Up To Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I couldn't stop writing tonight so here's another chapter for you guys! Hope you like it! Leave a comment below and let me know what you think!! :D

Dean was up to something.

Mary knew it, John knew it, but they could not, for the life of them, figure out what it was.

“I want to go to the library.” Dean said one day after school, dropping his backpack at the door and waiting expectantly for one of his parents to take him. No explanation, no reason, when asked he said he just wanted to go to the library.

But when he arrived, he went straight to the information desk, whispering to the old woman behind the counter so his mother couldn’t hear. The woman gave him a bright smile and quickly walked around to the other side, leading him far away from the kids section Mary had been expecting him to go towards.

“I’ll meet you at the front when I’m done.” Dean said brightly with a wave as he followed the woman. It was a small library so Mary could see him clearly from the bench at the front, though she had no idea what he was looking for.

But five minutes later he strolled over to the checkout laden with books, tipping them onto the counter and passing over his, until previously, barely used library card. The same woman who had helped him find all the books bagged them up for him and passed back his card with a smile, murmuring something to him that made Dean’s smile widen as he thanked her.

“What did you find?” Mary asked, trying to peer into the bag that was making her son’s arm sag, but he snatched it away with a frown.   
“Just some stuff...for school.” He said with a serious face and a dramatic nod that didn’t fool anyone, but Mary let it go.

Dean and Castiel still kept up their routine. Once they got used to their school schedules, Dean came over for breakfast in the morning and Castiel came over for dinner after school. They would sit together at the kitchen table, legs swinging, sometimes nudging each other, with their homework laid out in front of them. Dean was busy adding, math was already his least favorite subject, while Castiel wrote out the alphabet in a perfect scrawl that left Dean baffled. He would shake his head and point at his own scribbled writing and then at Cas’s, which could easily be cursive. Cas would blush and smile at the compliment and Dean would grin back.

But after Castiel left, their homework done and stomach’s full, Dean would head into his room, shutting the door tight so no one would bother him. When John came in to check on him, he would tuck whatever he was doing under his pillow and grin at his father like he hadn’t been doing anything at all.

It wasn’t until about three weeks later that it became a little more clear.

When Dean eagerly bounded to Cas’s door and rang the doorbell. When Castiel pulled it open with a smile and a wave. When Dean took a deep breath and raised his hand in a nervous wave.

When he followed it up by slowly, carefully, spelling “C-A-S-T-I-E-L” in sign language.

Castiel stared at him, completely dumbstruck, Dean grinning sheepishly at him.

He blinked and then raised his own hand, spelling, “D-E-A-N”, following it up with “?”

Dean nodded frantically and Castiel gave him a wide smile before tackling his friend in a hug.

John stared down at his son in complete confusion while Addeline looked on in awe.

“He’s…he’s learning to sign?” She stammered, staring down at their still embracing children.

“...Apparently.” John replied, sounding somewhat astonished.

As Castiel and his mother drove away, John turned to his son, who was avoiding his father's eye like it would turn him to stone. 

“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past few weeks?” John asked with a raised eyebrow.

Dean blushed and looked down at his feet, kicking at the gravel driveway. “Maybe.”

 


	4. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus everyone! I feel terrible for leaving it so long. Ugh. Have some Christmas fluff to (hopefully) make up for it!! :D

As fall turned into winter, dusting Lawrence in snow during the winter holidays, Dean realized he had made a fatal mistake.

Two days before Christmas, he came bursting into the kitchen, a look of pure horror written on his freckled face. It was enough to make Mary worry, jumping up from her seat and rushing to her son’s side.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Mom…..I didn’t get Cas a Christmas present!” He exclaimed, eyes wide and tearful. He looked like the thought that his friend would go without a gift from him was devastating. Mary stared at him, willing herself to relax. That certainly was not what she had been expecting. Something along the lines of near death experience was what she was prepared for. 

“I’m sure Cas will understand.” She said soothingly when she got her breathing under control, but Dean shook his head.

“No, I have to get him something! He’s my best friend!” He insisted.

Dean would not be swayed, determined that his friend would have some kind of present on Christmas. So an hour later, Mary packed John and her son into the car and sent them on their way.

Dean ran up and down the aisles in Target, eyes scanning every available rack for something that said “Cas”. He picked up stuffed animals and then shook his head, tossing them aside. John followed behind, rolling his eyes and picking up the wayward toys, putting them back in their proper places before trotting after his son.

The action figures weren’t cutting it either. “He has tons of them.” Dean complained, quickly leaving the Power Rangers and superheroes behind. 

“Well, what does Cas like?” John asked after an hour of aimless wandering with no clear end in sight because Dean would not settle for some boring, average gift. It had to be something that Cas would really like, something no one else would get him.

Dean frowned up at his father, as though he should know everything his best friend enjoyed.

“He likes drawing. And bees.” Dean said proudly before taking off in the opposite direction. A few minutes later John caught up to him in the office supply section, where Dean was looking through sketchbooks.

At the bottom of a stack, Dean froze.

Behind all the boring, black and white composition notebooks, was a little blue sketchbook. On the cover was a bright yellow cartoon bee. It wore a bright smile that reminded Dean of Cas. Smiling broadly at his discovery, he picked it up and cradled it to his chest like it was the most precious thing in the universe.

“I’ll get him this.”

Two days later, without even glancing at the loaded tree in his living room, Dean bounded down the stairs, shoving his boots on over his slipper socks and pulling on a jacket on top of his pajamas. Grabbing the rather poorly wrapped gift (“I can do it myself!”) and his father’s hand, Dean was out the door and in the snow, trying in vain to sprint down the sidewalk but John was still too tired to do anything more than stroll.

Just as he got up to the porch, Castiel’s door swung open, revealing Cas himself with his mother in tow, trying to tug her outside.

“Oh!” Addeline exclaimed, smiling at the similar scene before her.

“Sorry for coming so early…” John started but Addeline waved him off. Chuck appeared behind her, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“Looks like someone else couldn’t even wait to open their own presents.” He said with a grin.

Dean grinned sheepishly at Castiel, who was clutching his own gift, which looked a bit like he had wrapped it himself as well. Cas gave him a small smile in return before ducking his head and shoving the present in Dean’s direction, avoiding his friend's eyes. Dean took it eagerly, but quickly placed his own gift in his friend’s still outstretched hands.

They toyed with the paper for a moment, avoiding each other's glances. They seemed torn between opening their presents and watching each other until they both grinned again and ripped them open at the same time.

Dean stared down at his gift in complete awe while Castiel mirrored his expression, running his fingers gently over the little bee on his new sketchbook.

In Dean’s hand, was a packaged car model. A 1967 Chevy Impala, his favorite car. It was the one his father owned. He had pointed it out to Cas once with a proud smile, spelling out the name of the car for him. His friend must have remembered.

Holding on tight to his present, Dean grabbed Cas and pulled him into a tight hug. Castiel hugged him back, smiling brightly. Their parents smiled to each other over the tops of their heads.

That night, Dean fell asleep under the tree, all his opened presents strewn about the room. But in his arms, held tight to his chest, still in the package and gleaming brightly under the Christmas lights, was Castiel’s present.


	5. Trying Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Had another cute chapter in mind so I just went on writing!! :D Hope you enjoy!!! <3

Winter faded into spring, finding the two companions seated in Castiel’s living room. Propped up in front of them on the floor, was an open library book. A children’s sign language dictionary. There were pictures of smiling faces on every page, the models hands frozen in different motions, demonstrating various signs for the students. Dean was frowning at the pages while Cas sat beside him munching on an apple.

Ever since Dean bounded onto the porch in October and spelled out Castiel’s name, Cas had started teaching him sign language. Spelling out every word took far too much time. Dean was eager to learn, and Cas was excited to teach. They read from the book, Cas showing Dean a sign and Dean would try to mimic him. Castiel was patient when Dean got them wrong, taking his hands and gently guiding him through it again. Dean had picked up quickly on the simple words like yes, no, stop, go, food, and hungry. Food and hungry were their most frequently used signs. The two of them were always eating. 

The first time Dean had successfully signed “hungry” was in his mother’s kitchen over dinner one Saturday night. Castiel had come over for dinner, so Dean was not going to talk unless he absolutely had to. The two of them walked into the kitchen together and Cas strayed a little behind, giving Dean an encouraging nod.

Mary smiled at the pair of them and waited as Dean took a couple of timid steps forward. He glanced back at his companion, who nodded again with a wide smile, before biting his lip.

Raising his hand, he shaped his it into a ‘C’ and held it near his throat before dropping it down.

Having seen what they were learning, Mary knew what he meant and smiled proudly at her son. Dean grinned in excitement, turning to his friend, who was grinning broadly at him and nodding frantically.

They learned signs for each other as well. Nicknames so they wouldn’t have to spell out their names. Castiel decided on ‘green’ for Dean, because of his eye color. So Dean picked ‘blue’ for Cas.

Whenever Castiel showed up on the Winchester’s doorstep, he would make his hand into a fist, index and thumb extended and twist his hand back and forth. When Dean came over for breakfast before school, he’d make the ‘B’ shape and wave it to the side for ‘blue’.

Cas tossed his apple core into the bin beside them and pulled the book closer, smiling at the page.

He pointed at the face below him and then at Dean. Raising his hands to his face, he spread his fingers and patted his cheeks, slowly lowering them down his face as he went. Dean frowned at him and then looked back down at the page.

Cas pointed at the word on the page and then spelled it for him. “F-R-E-C-K-L-E-S”

He made the patting motions again and pointed at Dean.

“You-have-freckles.” He motioned slowly.

Dean grinned and nodded, raising his own hands to his face, mimicking Cas’s motions and Cas nodded in excitement.

Dean wasn’t the only one learning something new either. One afternoon, Cas came over to Dean’s house and was lead into the backyard, where John and Dean were tossing a football around. Mary sat back down on the porch with Sam, who was crawling around on a blanket. Dean motioned for Cas to join them, but he shook his head, backing toward Mary, intending on sitting down and playing with Sam.

But Dean bounded forward and signed, “Why?”

“Don’t-know-how.” Cas signed back slowly, knowing Dean was still trying to pick up on them. But he only frowned, taking Castiel’s hand and pulling him down the steps and into the grass.

“Show-you.” Dean clumsily signed back, but Cas smiled and nodded.

The next hour passed by quickly, Dean showing Cas how to hold the ball, how to pull it back and snap it forward. He didn’t laugh when Cas’s first attempts fell short of John’s outstretched hands, quickly snatching up the ball and trotting back to his friend’s side, encouraging him to try again. After a few more tries, Cas managed to get it across the yard, smacking John in the face because he wasn’t paying attention. Only then did Dean laugh, the two of them collapsing on top of each other in a fit of giggles.

Dean also introduced his friend to Star Wars, the two of them spending an entire Saturday in front of the television with a bowl of popcorn between them. The subtitles annoyed Dean, but he laughed when the description of R2D2’s voice was “sarcastic beeping”. The next day Cas appeared with a lightsaber, the two of them rushing eagerly to the backyard to begin battle, even though Dean insisted he was Han Solo, who didn’t need a lightsaber to be awesome. Mary found the two of them a few hours later, collapsed in the grass, lightsabers forgotten, fast asleep.

 


	6. Speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE HIATUS. School has started up again and it is taking away from my writing time. Have some more fluffiness and enjoy! More is on the way, I promise! xoxo

Five years had passed since then. Bright an early one Saturday morning, dressed in a dark blue, collared henley and khaki pants that made him feel itchy, Dean hopped out the door and jogged a couple of houses down to the Novak’s, knocking on their door.

As usual, Castiel answered with a wide smile.

“How-do-I-look?” Dean asked, doing a model turn for his friend. Cas rolled his eyes but offered him a polite thumbs up just as his mother appeared behind him.

“Dean, you look lovely!” She said cheerfully and Dean grinned, placing his fingers to his lips before dropping his hand down, palm up.

“Thank-you.”

“Let me get a picture of the two of you on your big day.” She said, signing the same to Castiel before shooing him onto the porch. Cas stood beside his friend and they both smiled brightly for the camera as she raised one hand.

3...2...1

Just before the light flashed, Dean pulled his friend into a tight hug, Castiel laughing in surprise, effectively ruining what would have been a boring picture otherwise.

“Dean!” Addeline scolded, but smiled down at the picture of her laughing son and his grinning best friend.

“Ready-to-go?” Dean asked and Cas nodded, turning back to his mother.

They signed something privately, an unusual occurrence when Dean was around, and Cas nodded once, smiling nervously before turning back to Dean.

“Let’s-go.”

Dean grabbed his hand, tugging him down the street. They climbed into his father’s Impala, Sam fast asleep beside them in his booster seat. He never lasted long in the car.

***

It seemed like Dean spent an eternity waiting in the hall with the rest of his W classmates. Why did his name have to start with a letter so far down in the alphabet? He tapped his foot, drummed his fingers on the wall, hummed to himself, but was becoming increasingly bored with every passing second. And when he finally made it through the doors to the gymnasium, where a little stage was set up for the fifth graders to walk across, his momentary joy was crushed when he saw another line of about twenty people still in front of him.

Now his mother was in the front row with the rest of the faculty, so she could see him clearly from her seat. No more drumming and tapping his feet. “Be on your best behavior.” She had warned with a smile before parting early in the morning to help set up the gym with the rest of the teachers.

“Dean Winchester!” The principal finally called and Dean cheered in delight, taking the steps two at a time and practically running across the stage to get his little diploma. As he shook the principal’s hand, he waved to his mother in the front row and scanned the crowd for the rest of his family.

A few rows back, John was standing and cheering loudly with Sam on his hip so he could see. On his other side, Cas was standing on his folding chair and clapping with a wide smile. Dean waved to them too as he walked off stage to sit down with his fellow classmates.

“I now present, this year’s graduating class from Kennedy Elementary School!”

The applause were deafening. Everyone stood, yelling and hollering at the top of their lungs. Dean clapped along with them, looking around for his family.

John was pushing his way through the crowd, Sam still in his arms, pulling Cas by the hand so he wouldn’t get lost.

“You did it kiddo!” John exclaimed, hugging Dean tightly.

Sam leapt into his arms with a cry of, “Yay Dean!”

Dean laughed, ruffling his hair and turning to his friend. Cas gave him a timid smile and took his hand, beckoning him to follow. Dean frowned but allowed himself to be pulled off to the side. John could still see them. He knew what Cas was doing and didn’t want to interfere.

It was quieter near the wall, slightly apart from the chattering parents.

“Blue?” Dean motioned and Cas told him to wait.

Dean clasped his hands behind his back and rocked back on his heels, watching Castiel intently.

He took a deep breath, seeming to be working up to something. It almost looked like he was about to speak. But Dean knew that wasn’t it. He had never heard Cas speak before. He had learned that many deaf people could speak, but it was a tiresome process and his friend was still a little young to learn.

But with another ragged breath, Cas opened his mouth, his lips moving as though he was trying to form words.

And then, “Good j-job...Dean.” Cas whispered. It sounded hoarse, unsure, his wide blue eyes watching Dean with worry and unease.

When Dean did nothing but stare, too surprised to do anything else, Cas began to backtrack.

“Did-I-say-it-wrong? I’m-so-sorry! I-really-wanted-to-do-this-for-you. I’m-sorry, I-”

Dean cut him off by grabbing him tightly and pulling him into a fierce hug, Cas melted into it with a relieved sigh, hugging back just as tight.

For the first time, even though he knew Cas couldn't hear, Dean couldn't help but whisper in his ear, "Thank you, Castiel."

The way Cas's arms tightened around his shoulders made Dean feel like he did. 


	7. A Not So Friendly Reminder

It was easy for Dean to forget that his friend had a disability, the way Castiel acted. He was so quick to react, so swift in his actions that it seemed like he could hear.

But Dean got a terrible reminder one afternoon during the fall of their eighth grade year. Football season had started, so the pair of them were in the front yard, tossing a football around, waiting for the Chiefs game to start. They were laughing at their terrible throwing skills. Dean was definitely more cut out for baseball and Cas just generally avoided sports as much as possible. 

On one particularly bad throw, the ball missed Castiel’s outstretched hands by about three feet, bouncing into the street. Dean laughed and started to run after it, but Cas waved him off and darted into the street, chasing it as the ball rolled toward the other side.

That’s when Dean saw it, a car speeding down the street, showing no signs of stopping even though Cas was in plain view.

“Cas!” Dean shouted at the top of his lungs, forgetting for a moment that his friend could not hear him. Castiel looked up in time to see Dean running toward him, waving frantically and pointing down the road. Cas frowned, turning in confusion to see the car barrelling toward him, the driver bent over toward the passenger seat, looking for something. It was too close, he wouldn’t make it out of the way.

The next thing Cas knew, he was on the ground, someone shoving him across the street and into the grass. He rolled over in time to see Dean scrambling out of the way, but it was too late. The car hit him on the right side as he tried to run, sending him into the air with a sickening crack that Cas didn’t hear. Dean skidded across the pavement on his side and lay there, unmoving, against the curb. John came running out of the house and into the street to his son's side, Cas standing shakily and making his way across the yard toward his friend. 

The driver emerged slowly, looking sick and frightened at the sight before him, pulling out his phone to call an ambulance. Cas kneeled down beside Dean, brushing his hair from his eyes, feeling sluggish and confused, like he was moving through syrup.

Dean wasn't moving. He wasn't getting up. John was crying, Mary was running across the street, Addeline following close behind her. But Cas could only stare down at Dean, his own eyes prickling with tears. 

***

Everything hurt.

His sides, his arms and legs, his face. His head was pounding something terrible and he couldn’t move. Well, he could, but it certainly didn’t help him feel any better. Even wiggling his little finger sent shooting pain through his arm.

He could hear though. The steady beeping from the heart monitor, the faint mumbling of what sounded like the news playing somewhere across the room. He didn’t dare open his eyes in case it made his head hurt more. He knew he was in a hospital and that he was alive.

But what about Castiel? Dean was almost sure he had gotten Cas out of the way in time, had seem him on the side of the road for a split second before he heard the screeching tires and was sent flying through the air. But what if he hadn’t? What if the car had swerved and ran Cas over? What if Cas was in the hospital with him right now? Or worse? What if he hadn’t made it? It would be all his fault because he couldn’t throw a damned ball.

There was another sound that he barely heard, somewhere right beside him. A soft, snuffling sound, somewhere between crying and sniffling.

Slowly, carefully, waiting for any kind of additional pain, Dean peeked through his eyelashes. Bright light blinded him, the white of the room making it seem much more intense against his sensitive eyes.

That timid movement must not have gone unnoticed, because there was a frantic scrambling beside him, a slight dip in the hospital bed as someone leaned against it.

“D-Dean?” A timid, fragile voice asked. It was a voice Dean rarely heard, but one he would always recognize regardless.

So Dean opened his eyes all the way this time, blinking rapidly to make his eyes adjust.

He didn’t dare move his hands, which he could now feel were wrapped in gauze. Along with eighty percent of his body. It was itchy.

He struggled to move his head, concluding it was in a neck brace after a good minute of attempting to turn and look at his friend.

Cas, seeing his struggle, sat on the edge of the bed so he was in view. He had a few scrapes on his cheek and one of his hands was in a cast, but otherwise he looked fine.

Dean tried to raise his hand to say something, but it hurt too much and Cas shook his head.

“You-can’t-do-that-to-me!” Cas signed furiously and Dean frowned groggily at me. “You-almost-died! What-is-wrong-with-you?” There were tears shining in his eyes as he glowered at Dean.

Dean shrugged slightly and shook his head as much as the brace allowed.

“I-can’t-lose-you-Dean.” Cas hastily replied. “Promise-you-won’t-be-so-stupid-again!”

At that, Dean managed a small smile. More like a twitch of his lips, but it was enough.

He edged one of his hands off the bed toward Cas, who frowned down at it before taking it gently. He knew it was Dean’s silent way of answering, of saying, “I promise.”

***

It seemed like Dean’s entire right side had been damaged in his attempt to run away. His right wrist was broken, elbow was fractured, he had dislocated his shoulder, broken two ribs, his knee was damaged, and he broke two parts of his ankle. In short, he was covered in casts and would be stuck in a wheelchair for at least three months. He was not pleased with that diagnosis, insisting he would be fine in less than a month.

John, Mary, Sam, Addeline, Chuck, and Cas crowded themselves into the tiny hospital room to celebrate that Dean was awake, though he was grumpy half the time because he was being forced to stay in the hospital another couple of days and then in a wheelchair for what felt like the rest of his life. But they cheered him up with some pie from the cafeteria as Sam sat beside him on the bed, doodling the Batman logo on his wrist cast.

The next two days, Cas came to visit him right after school, bringing his homework for Dean to look over. It was clear Cas was still slightly annoyed with him, a slight hardness in his eyes and the way he pursed his lips whenever Dean flinched from pain.

“Come-on-Blue! I-said-I-was-sorry!” Dean complained one night when Cas was glowering at him. “I-promised-I-wouldn’t-get-hurt-again!”

“Why-did-you-do-it?” Cas finally asked without looking up, hands moving so fast that Dean barely caught it.

Dean frowned at him, waiting for his friend to look up from where he was drawing a bird on Dean’s cast. When he didn’t, Dean nudged him in the side, urging him to look up.

When Cas finally did, it was with a resigned expression, like he was expecting Dean to say “I don’t know” or “I wish I hadn’t”. But he didn’t.

Slowly, he replied, “Because-I-can’t-lose-you-either.”

Cas stared at him for a moment, that wetness appearing in his eyes but he blinked it away with a shake of his head.

“You’re-stupid.” He signed swiftly and Dean laughed, making Cas smile.


	8. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a terrible person. I'm so sorry for being off for so long!!!!!!! Ugh, no excuses. Here is another chapter! I'm so sorry for the wait!!

Freshman year. Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t dreading it. His summer vacation was dwindling away much faster than he would like, June and July fading quickly into August and soon enough he was being dragged to various stores purchasing binders and pencils, being forced to try on clothes other than his customary t-shirts. He grumbled and complained all through the mall while his mother handed him stuffy sweaters and polo shirts that were far too tight. In the end, he managed to compromise by getting some nice flannel to layer over his t-shirts.

But that wasn’t what he was dreading most. It wasn't the smell of fresh school supplies that was stinking up the house or the heaps of shopping bags littering his floor because he refused to put them away. 

It was Cas. 

The pair of them had been hoping that Castiel would finally get the chance to go to public school. He had been trying to persuade his mother and father to let him go. He could lipread now, could talk very well, and Lawrence High School had people that could sit at the front of his classes and sign for him. At first, his mother and father had open minds about the idea, even started talking to counselors at the school about how to set up his transfer, but after Dean’s incident in the fall, they went back to their old belief that Cas should stay at his own school. That he would be safer there.

The news had crushed the pair of them. Dean didn’t want to think about going through another year without his friend by his side. He didn’t have many friends at school, something his fellow classmates had been quick to notice. Even though he was on the baseball team all through junior high, he was a loner that couldn’t wait to get out of school to hang out with “the weird deaf kid” at home.

He never told his parents about the bullying. The fact that he sat in the back of the class every day and ate his lunch in the bathroom. That he was teased for hanging out with Cas. That people sometimes whispered about him, called him strange because he would sit at his desk and make weird hand motions as the teacher spoke that none of them understood. He didn’t want his parents to know.

The only person he told was Cas, who finally got Dean to talk after weeks of coming over to find Dean moping in his room, barely responding when Cas would try to talk to him.

“Dean?” He whispered one afternoon and Dean looked up in surprise.

“What wr-wrong?”

“Nothing-Cas. I’m-fine.”

“You s-say that. Lying.”

“I’m-not-lying. Promise.”

Cas glowered at him.

“I-can-tell-when-you’re-lying-to-me.” He signed furiously. Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Just-some-stuff-at-school.” He replied and Cas squinted at him, head cocked to the side.

“Tell me.” Cas murmured, waiting patiently while Dean thought about what to say.

“Just-lonely.” He finally replied. “Don’t-talk-to-anyone.”

“Why-not?”

Dean shrugged and Cas poked him in the side.

“Tell me.” Cas repeated in that same unsure, rumbling voice.

“They-aren’t-like-you. They-are-boring-and-rude.” Dean waved back. “They-make-fun-of-me-for-hanging-out-with-you.” He added, shooting his friend a worried glance. But Castiel didn’t look surprised. He just looked sad.

“It’s-hurting-you.” He concluded with defeat.

“No! No-it’s-not-hurting-me!” Dean replied hastily, shaking his head. “I-don’t-care-what-they-say. It’s-just-hard-sometimes-that’s-all.”

“I’m-sorry.” Cas replied, the sign so small it was like he was whispering. Dean shook his head again and quickly took his friend’s hands. It wasn’t intimate or romantic to them; they held hands often as kids and it just became a habit. When Cas was scared or upset, Dean would hold his hands tightly until he calmed down. When they were walking, they would link hands to make sure they stayed together. When Dean was excited, he would grab Cas’s hand tightly with a wide smile. Cas would take Dean’s hand to lead him through the house or outside without thinking about it. It was just natural to them. 

This time was no different. It was meant to soothe, to calm. Cas sighed gently, looking down at their entwined fingers with a sad smile.

“Don’ want y-you sad.” Cas rasped and Dean rolled his eyes.

“I’m-not-sad. Don’t-worry-about-me. They-are-all-jerks. Wouldn’t-want-to-hang-out-with-them-anyway.” Dean assured him with a wide smile. “You’re-better-than-all-of-them.”

That finally made Cas smile. A real smile, not that washy half smile he gave everyone else. It was Dean’s smile.

Now it was two days until the start of his first year of high school, stuck with the same annoying people he had been forced to mingle with since kindergarten, and he couldn’t stand it.

There was a soft knock on his door and he frowned, looking up to see Cas beaming at him from the doorway.

Dean grinned and waved him in, sitting up and scooting to the side on his bed to make room.

“I-have-some-news.” Cas signed, showing obvious excitement.

“What's-up?”

Cas didn’t reply, reaching into his bag and pulling out a short stack of papers, passing them to Dean. He frowned down at them, straightening them in his hands before peering down at the words on the page.

They were transfer papers.

Transfer papers to Lawrence High School. Approved transfer papers for the start of the September school year.

Castiel was going to Lawrence High School.

He was in almost all of Dean’s classes. Dean wondered if he had done that on purpose but decided not to ask him.

Instead, he tossed the papers aside and grinned at his friend before scooping him into a bone crushing hug. Cas huffed into his shoulder, laughing quietly as he wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders.

Dean finally wasn’t going to be alone.

Maybe high school wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 


	9. It Was Wonderful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about taking so long!! Been a long and stressful week here and I am not happy about being away from you all for so long. Hopefully this week will be better. Love you all!!

Dean hitched a ride with Cas to school the first day. It was within walking distance, but Addeline wanted to make sure, for the first week or so, that Cas knew his way around.

It was already crowded, even though they were a half hour early so Cas could make sure his papers were in order and so he could meet the people that would be signing in his classes. Dean waited patiently outside the principal’s office while everything was set up, ignoring some of his middle school classmates as they strolled in.

“Hey Squirrel!” A grumbly voice called from the doorway and Dean clenched his jaw, hoping the interaction would be short.

Crowley swaggered down the hall toward him, a smirk on his face. He was a short, somewhat round teen, already trying to grow in a beard but it wasn't working too well. His beady black eyes were watching Dean’s like a hawk, mischief brimming in them. 

He seemed like the kind of person people generally wouldn’t associate with, but with his powerful parents and the fact that he was already loaded at the age of fifteen, people were anxious to get on his good side.

Dean hadn’t done a good job of that, not that he tried anyways. When Crowley tried to befriend him in their sixth grade year, Dean politely declined because he had spotted the preteen bullying one of his classmates. To make matters worse, Dean “accidentally” hit him with a basketball during PE and they had been enemies ever since.

“Ready for the new year?” Crowley sneered, coming to a stop in front of him, flanked by Alistair and his friend Ruby.

“Was until you showed up.” Dean huffed, peeking over his shoulder into the office, hoping Cas would be in there a little longer.

Crowley had a retort ready on his lips, but as a group of teachers rounded the corner, he simply grinned and walked away, motioning for his goons to follow. "See you in class, Winchester!" He shot over his shoulder and Dean glared after him. 

Just as Crowley disappeared in the sea of confused students, Cas emerged from the office. He looked slightly hassled as a tall, thin woman in her early forties, wearing a stiff gray pantsuit followed him out, taking care to stand as close behind him as she could without actually touching him. Her badge said “Naomi” and that was all.

Cas was being weighed down by his new textbooks and Dean quickly took a couple from him. The woman narrowed her eyes at Dean and tapped Cas on the shoulder.  
“Who-is-this?” She sighed and Cas sighed.

“I’m Dean.” Dean cut in so Cas wouldn’t have to free up his hands.

The woman pursed her lips. “I don’t remember asking you.” She said in a reprimanding voice that made Dean raise his eyebrows. He glanced at Cas, who gave him a sympathetic look.

“Signing for me.” He whispered, hoping she wouldn’t hear, but no luck.

“You-don’t-have-to-speak-for-him. Do-not-feel-pressured. I’ll-make-sure-this-experience-is-as-painless-as-possible-for-you.” She quickly signed with much unneeded attitude. Cas’s offended expression almost made Dean laugh.

“Like talking.” He mumbled, mostly to himself, but Dean offered him a smile nonetheless. 

“Ready-for-class?” Dean asked and Cas nodded once, starting down the hall without looking back at Naomi.

“English?” Cas asked, hands still holding three books while Dean had two under his arm.

Dean just nodded and Cas sighed, looking over his shoulder at the woman tailing them.

“Don’ like it.” He grumbled.

“Her?” Dean sighed back, right hand held palm up and pushing it on a diagonal. Cas nodded. “Maybe-she-will-grow-on-you?”

Cas just snorted and Dean grinned at him as they walked into the classroom. Both planned on sitting in the back; the classrooms were small so he would be able to see Naomi even in the back corner. But she caught his arm.

“You-need-to-stay-in-the-front.” She signed, glaring at Dean. “You can go on.”

Cas’s eyes widened and he looked frantically at his friend.

“Nah, I’ll stay up here, thanks.” Dean replied, plopping down at one of the free desks and patting the one next to him for Cas.

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief and sat down, finally managing to shove his books in his bag and reclining against the plastic chair. Naomi took up a stool at the front, speaking in hushed tones to the teacher. A couple of people were staring at her, whispering about the kid at the front who had to have a chaperone. Dean didn’t like it, turning to shoot a glare over his shoulder at one of them, making the girl cower back in her seat.

English was a success, though Dean found himself watching Naomi every now and then just because he could understand her. Cas paid attention eagerly, taking notes whenever there was a quiet period, clearly already enjoying the new atmosphere of Lawrence High compared to his old school. Naomi pulled him aside right after the bell rang and Dean waited out the hall. A brief touch on his hand told him Cas was ready to go and they made their way to Algebra.

“I-already-hate-this-class.” Dean signed angrily, glowering at the cheerful multiplication posters and equations waiting on the board. Cas chuckled but didn’t reply. Math wasn't a problem for him. 

Lunch came next, thank god because they were both already starving. Naomi, thankfully, stayed at the front of the cafeteria and ate with a couple of the teachers, though she kept a watchful eye on Cas as he pulled out his lunch.

“Don’ like her.” He complained and Dean nudged his shoulder sympathetically.

Dean’s next class was P.E while Cas had speech therapy, which he was not pleased about. Dean was forced to run around the track in the stifling heat, panting and sweating as he jogged half-heartedly in a circle. The only good thing about it was watching Crowley complain as he basically walked around, claiming his father would be having a talk with the school about “the health codes there were violating by making me go outside in this weather!”

They met up again in Biology, Naomi seated at the front, the pair of them chatting in their seats until the bell rang. Next was Spanish 1 for Dean and Art for Cas. Dean was forced to partner up with someone to practice greetings. His name was Benny, a fellow freshman, though he looked like he could be a senior. Tall, burly, with cropped brown hair and, unlike Crowley, his beard was actually visible. They talked about baseball and complained about already having homework in all their classes.

Their last class was Health Nutrition. Cas was still bright eyed and excited, talking all about his art class and showing him the sketches they had already started working on.

“What-about-her?” Dean asked, nodding to wear Naomi was watching with narrowed eyes.

Cas pursed his lips and shook his head, making Dean laugh.

When the final bell rang, the pair of them walked out together, arms laden with books and homework. Thankfully, Naomi parted ways with them at the office without even saying goodbye. Neither of them were too broken up about it.

The Impala was waiting for them at the pickup loop, John leaning over the front seat to see them. He grinned and unlocked the door, the pair of them sliding into the back.

“How was school boys?” John asked, angling his face so his mouth would be visible in the rearview mirror for Cas.

“Great, Dad.”

“Good.” Cas replied with a wide smile. To Dean, he signed, “It-was-wonderful.”


	10. I've Got You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Internet!!! Happy to be able to write a little more this week. (Warning, slight sadness ahead. Nothing too terrible. Just fare warning though.) Love you all!!

It was the spring of their sophomore year when it happened. Just a month after Castiel’s sixteenth birthday.

Six thirty in the morning there was a sharp knock at the door. A good fifteen minutes earlier than when Cas usually showed up but Dean answered the door anyway, guessing he had come over for breakfast.

But it was Addeline who stood on his porch, eyes puffy and red, a piece of yellow notebook paper clutched in her fist.

“D-Dean…” She whispered, voice rough and uneven. “Is...is Chuck here by any chance?”

Dean frowned, “No, not that I know of.” He said slowly, glancing over his shoulder just to make sure. When he turned around again, Addeline was clutching her chest, heaving dry, silent sobs. His eyes widened and he jumped out into the cool morning air, putting an arm around her quivering shoulder and urging her to come inside.

She allowed herself to be steered into the kitchen, where he sat her down and made her some of his mother’s tasteless Chamomile tea. Tea was supposed to calm people down, right?

He passed her the steaming mug and Mrs. Novak took it with a watery smile, barely holding it for a second before a tiny whimper escaped her lips.

Dean tried to offer her a consoling pat on the shoulder before darting out of the room and up the stairs. He barged into his parents' room, tugging his mother out of the bathroom, still clad in her pink robe and slippers. 

"Dean, what's wrong? I have to get ready-"

"Look, Cas's mom is here and something's wrong." He explained in a whisper as they made their way back downstairs. 

Before Mary could ask anymore questions, Dean pushed her into the kitchen and her eyes widened in surprise. 

“Addeline!” She exclaimed, rushing to her friend’s side and pulling up a chair beside her. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I-I don’t really know.” She whispered into her mug in a shaky voice. “Chuck...he’s gone.” She said. "We...we had another fight last night and I woke up this morning and...and he was just gone! Her voice crack halfway through her explanation and a moment later her face crumpled. That was all Mary could get out of her, so she just sat beside Addeline, rubbing her back tenderly and urging her to drink more tea.

“C-Cas doesn’t know.” She managed after a few minutes, looking at Dean now. “Please don’t tell him yet.” She added frantically when someone knocked on the door. “Please, Dean, don’t tell him!”

Dean didn’t say anything, just nodded and rushed to the door.

Cas was frowning when the door was pulled open. “Mom in there?” He asked and Dean nodded, grabbing his bag from the hook and stepping outside. Cas didn’t question it; their parents often had breakfast together. Dean shot one last, nervous glance over his shoulder before walking down the steps behind his friend. 

***

The entire day was stressful for Dean, Mrs. Novak’s words forming the same, steady mantra in his head, “ _Don’t tell Cas, don’t tell Cas, don’t tell Cas._ ”

He’d known the Novaks were fighting. There had been plenty of nights where Cas had shown up on his doorstep, glowering at the ground and jerking his head toward his house. Dean would just nod and pull him inside. They would play video games for an hour or so and by then it would be safe for Cas to go home. But he never thought it was so bad that Chuck would just up and leave. It made him wonder what Cas went through on the nights he didn’t come over. What he put up with when he was alone. Dean wanted to ask, to comfort him, but knew that would raise a red flag.

* _Don’t tell Cas, don’t tell Cas, don’t tell Cas_ *

Even after school, when they went their separate ways, Dean kept murmuring it to himself, struggling not to send a text asking if everything was alright. Mrs. Novak had gone home, but that didn’t keep Dean from worrying.

They were in the middle of dinner when someone tentatively knocked at the door. Dean bolted up from the table and ran to answer it without a backward glance.

He wasn’t surprised to find Cas standing there. But he wasn’t expecting the tear stains on his cheeks. The shaking shoulders and quivering lips. His eyes darted up to meet Dean’s and then away again. He didn’t speak, didn’t sign for him; he just stood on the porch, looking lost and confused.

Dean stepped outside, pulling Cas into his arms and hugging him against his chest. A faint sob reached his ears as Cas gripped his shirt, burying his face in Dean’s shoulder. Dean hummed quietly, knowing the vibrations from his chest would calm Cas down. He stopped shaking in seconds, but his tears didn’t subside, staining Dean’s shirt. But he didn’t push his friend away, just holding him close and stroking his back until Cas decided he was ready to pull away.

“Can-I-stay?” He asked shakily, hands fidgeting so much the signs were almost unrecognizable. But Dean nodded, taking his hand and pulling him inside.

***

After dinner Mary went over to Addeline’s. She didn’t come back for the rest of the night. John set up an air mattress in Dean’s room for Cas and said goodnight, lingering a moment too long to send Cas a sympathetic smile. He wasn’t very good at dealing with emotions, but his heart was in the right place.

Dean set up the air mattress with pillows and blankets and then shoved Cas to his own bed, shaking his head when Cas offered weak protests.

“You-sleep-there. I’m-fine.”

“But-”

“N-O-P-E.” Dean spelled out with a small smile. “You-sleep-there.”

Cas sighed and plopped down on the bed, playing with the hem of his borrowed t-shirt.

“Don’ know why he left.” Cas whispered. Dean looked up in surprise from where he was about to climb into his makeshift bed. “Mus’ be my fault.”

Dean scrambled off the air mattress and sat down beside his friend.

“No. Not-your-fault!” Dean signed hastily. Cas shook his head, looking down. Dean frowned at him and took one of his hands in his left. “It-is-not-your-fault. I-don’t-know-why-he-left. But-it-was-not-because-of-you.”

Cas nodded, squeezing Dean’s hand before letting go.

Dean stayed awake for a long time, listening to make sure his friend was able to fall asleep, thankful he didn’t have school in the morning. It was almost one before Cas’s breathing evened out and he started snoring softly. Only then did Dean allow himself to relax and fall asleep.

Not even two hours later, Dean woke up again to the sound of a barely concealed whimper from across the room. He sat up, peering over the edge of the bed. The lump under the covers was shaking.

At first, he thought he should let Cas have his cry. It might help him get his emotions out.

But when twenty minutes passed with no end in sight, Dean climbed out of bed and sat down beside his friend. Cas didn’t notice him, not until Dean took one of the hands clenched in the comforter, prying his fingers free and lacing them with his own. Castiel's face was buried in the pillows in an attempt to muffle his crying. He peered up at Dean in confusion before gripping his hand tightly.

“Stay?” He whispered brokenly and Dean nodded, squeezing back gently before scooting back against the headboard, leaning back and closing his eyes. A moment later Cas shuffled closer, cuddling into Dean’s side, sniffling lightly, but he had stopped crying. Dean looked down in surprise before a small smile touched his lips.

“I’ve got you, Cas.” He whispered into the darkness.

 


	11. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I'm a terrible person for taking so long to update!! Ugh! Here are another two chapters in an attempt to make up for it! Love you all and I'm sorry for being so slow! xoxo

“Do-you-want-something-to-eat?”

“No-I’m-fine.”

“Want-to-do-homework?”

“I’ll-do-it-later. Promise.”

“You-promised-that-yesterday.”

“Star-Wars-is-on. Want-to-watch?”

“No-thank-you. I’m-fine-here.”  
  


It had been nearly a month since Cas’s dad disappeared, with no word on where he was or if he was ever coming back. He left his phone and all of his money behind. No way to trace him, no way to find him. One of the few times Addeline opened up about her husband, she told Mary it had to do with his writing. More recently, a fantasy/adventure series Chuck had been working on got published with outstanding reviews. He threw himself into writing, locking himself away in his study for hours, sometimes days on end. He had been missing in Cas’s life for the past year, always hunched over his computer or scribbling in his notebook. But even with all the fights it caused, he never stopped.

Addeline was still devastated weeks later, spending almost every waking moment nursing a cup of tea or, more recently, a glass of wine or a beer. It was alarmingly switching to just the latter. But all of this was nothing compared to Cas.

Dean’s friend was a hollow shell of his former self. His eyes were vacant as he stared at the board during class, except when they would randomly well up with tears. Dean stayed glued to his side most days, sometimes holding his hand, other times just watching him. Making sure that he ate and drank enough water. Doing his homework for him so he wouldn’t fail his classes.

But he was withdrawn, even from Dean. He didn’t return the gentle pressure of Dean’s hand, was slow to respond when Dean signed to him. He avoided eye contact, slouched when he walked; he didn’t even speak anymore. Anything Dean signed was replied to with a sign in turn, mouth pursed shut, jaw clenching and unclenching.

He wasn’t sleeping; Dean would know. Most nights he stayed over at the Winchesters, still sleeping in Dean’s bed. Every night Dean would wait until his parents were asleep and then climb off the air mattress, pulling back the covers and sliding in beside Cas.

He was always shaking when Dean pulled the blankets back over them. It was the only time any emotion leaked through his hallowed expression. He curled up beside Dean, allowing his hand to be taken and hair to be stroked. Dean hummed quietly, breath ghosting over Cas’s face. It took hours for his friend to fall asleep, and then he would jolt awake just as Dean began to doze off. Dean was always ready, rubbing soothing circles on his back until Castiel calmed down enough to sleep.

Dean never complained, even when bags started weighing heavy under his eyes and he started falling asleep at the dinner table. Not when he nearly got kicked off the baseball team because he was too tired to do laps before practice. Not even when his own grades started slipping because he was too focussed on making sure his friend didn’t fail. He never said a word, because he knew he still had it better than Cas did.

One Saturday morning, one of the few when Cas stayed home the night before, Dean was passed out on the couch, having fallen asleep while eating his breakfast. Someone knocked timidly on the door.

Dean jolted awake, sending the remainder of his waffle flying as he flailed on the couch. Stomping over to the door, trying to straighten his wrinkled t-shirt, he yanked it open with a glower on his face.

It was Cas.

Dean’s face melted instantly when his friend offered him a timid smile.

“Hello…” He said, voice raspy from underuse.

“Hi.” Dean waved.

Cas held out his phone, “I jus’ got an email.” He explained as Dean took the phone, blinking at the blinding screen with letters too tiny to be read. “F’om Dad.” He added and Dean’s eyes darted up hastily, watching his friend’s face for any signs of distress.

He looked...calm. Calmer and more content than Dean had seen in weeks. Dean hastily read the tiny print in front of him, eyes darting up to his friend’s every now and then.

_Castiel,_

_I know that the way I left you was wrong in every respect. I should have given some kind of explanation; at least waited until morning before leaving. It was a spur of the moment decision that I did not think through and I apologize._

_I want you to know it was not your fault. You had nothing to do with my decision to leave. Your mother and I, we haven’t been seeing eye to eye the past few years. You know how important my writing is to me. With a successful series, it is important that I take time to write and get out new material. She didn’t understand, thought I was being selfish for not spending as much time with the pair of you. My writing was suffering. But you must know it was never your fault._

_I am sorry for the pain I am causing the pair of you. I want you both to know I love you very much and think of you often._

_Love,_   
_Dad._

Dean stared down at the phone in his hands with something close to a grimace on his face. His eyes narrowed, he glared accusingly at the words before smoothing his expression and looking back up at Cas, who was watching him intently.

It was the crappiest apology Dean had ever seen. Possibly the worst in history. There were too many I’s on the screen, too much attention was centered on Chuck and not enough on Cas. Not enough on making things right for his son.

But Dean knew. He knew why Cas was showing him. Why Cas looked healthier than he had in weeks.

He knew now. He knew for certain it wasn’t his fault. He heard it from his father. He knew the truth.

So Dean handed the phone back with the smallest of smiles, which Cas returned with something like an apology in his eyes.

“Dean...thank you for the las’ few weeks.” He started, but Dean shook his head.

“Don’t-mention-it-Blue.” Dean replied and Cas smiled at the use of their old nickname.

Cas wasn’t better. Not by a long shot. But he was healing, and for now that was enough.

 


	12. An Unexpected Event At Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter (a slightly happier one too!) for you all! I'm sorry for being away so long! Next one shouldn't take all that long to be posted; already have the idea in my head! :D  
> xoxo

Sammy was back and pounding on the door.

“Alright, alright I’m coming out!” Dean shouted back, turning hastily to the mirror and flattening his hair once more. Didn’t know why he bothered; the second the wind hit, it would be all over the place again.

“We’re gonna be late!” Sam called back from further away, most likely at the bottom of the stairs.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m coming bitch!” Dean hollered as he yanked open his door and stomped down the hall.

“Jerk!” Was all he heard in reply as he got to the top of the stairs.

Mary, John, and Sam were waiting at the bottom of the stairwell. Mary beamed proudly at her son as he came down, pulling angrily at the red tie he tried in vain not to wear.

“I look ridiculous.” He grumbled when he reached them, shifting uncomfortably in his black suit.

“Oh hush, you look lovely!” Mary argued, pulling out her camera and shoving Sam beside his brother. Dean ignored Sam’s smug expression as he loomed over him. Fifteen years old and he was already taller by almost three inches.

“Alright John, you too.” Mary ordered.

“Mary…”

“Come on Dad, if I gotta be seen in this monkey suit, so do you.” Dean insisted, grabbing his father by the arm and dragging him into the shot.

“Dear, could you try to smile, you look constipated.” Mary said gently from behind her lense and John sighed, plastering a smile on his face just as the doorbell rang.  
“Oh, that’ll be Cas!” She exclaimed in delight, turning around and opening the door.

Sure enough, waiting on the porch in a similar black suit (the families might have gone shopping together) and a royal blue tie, stood Cas.

Dean got an odd, somewhat fluttery feeling when he saw his friend. It had been happening a lot lately and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe nerves from finally graduating. He still couldn’t believe they made it.

“Alright boys, time for a picture!” Mary explained while facing Cas, making sure he could plainly see what she was saying. It was natural to all of them now.

Dean stepped out onto the porch beside his friend and smirked at the familiar memory from their elementary school years. Just as Mary held up her hand, Dean scooted closer.

3...2...1

Dean pulled his friend into a tight hug, punching a laugh out of Cas and a sigh from Mary, who peered down at her camera and beamed nonetheless at the playful photo.

“Very funny, now let’s have a nice one please!” She reprimanded with no real force, urging the two of them to smile like civilized human beings for the next picture.

Just like elementary school all over again, except this time he got to sit for the beginning part. Four boring speeches and a pep talk from the principal later, names were finally called.

Dean clapped respectfully for his fellow peers, cheering for Benny when he strutted across the stage, playfully winking at one of the girls in the front and tipping his cap at her before sauntering off the stage.

When it was Cas’s turn, Dean broke protocol to stand up on his chair and yell with the rest, knowing his family and Addeline were cheering loudly behind him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Dean’s name was called. He jumped onto the stage, met with tremendous applause from his family. Just like he had done, Cas was standing up and cheering loudly, a bright smile on his face. Dean grinned at him before walking off the stage, clutching his diploma tightly in his hands.

“I now present, this year’s graduating class from Lawrence High School!” The principal called over the microphone and everyone started to scream. Chairs were upturned as people jumped to their feet in their haste to get their caps off and throw them into the air. Dean tossed it high, watching it spiral up into the sky before getting lost in the crowd. He would steal someone else’s later.

“Dean!” He heard behind him and he wheeled around in time for Benny to come crashing into him, “We did it brother!” He cheered, clapping him on the back before moving on to another group of friends, that same girl from the front row among them.

Dean turned around again and started searching for Cas, pushing his way through the crowd toward where the N’s had been seated.

He ran right by his friend, only stopping when he heard a frantic, “Dean!” Behind him. He turned in surprise, standing on his toes to get a better look. A mop of messy brown hair was making his way toward him, a wide smile on his face. That smile Dean liked best.

He met Castiel half way, grabbing him around the shoulders and hugging him so tightly the slightly smaller man’s feet were lifted off the floor. Cas laughed, arms around his neck and hugging back just as fiercely.

“We did it!” He exclaimed, knowing Dean wouldn’t hear him over the crowd. Dean nodded with a bright smile, not noticing how close Cas was standing until a second too late. Not feeling the arms tightening around his neck.

All of a sudden time seemed to slow down and all Dean could see was Cas, who was on his toes and leaning in. He could only stare with wide eyes as Cas came closer and pressed his lips gently to Dean’s.

He couldn’t move, couldn’t react, just froze with his friend in his arms. Cas pulled back when he felt Dean stiffen, looking up at him with frightened eyes.

Dean still couldn’t move, arms still around Cas’s shoulders, staring at him utter shock.

“Oh my God….I-I’m so’ry…I...I see you later. Got to find mom. I...bye” Cas stammered, unwinding from Dean’s loose embrace before taking off in the opposite direction, disappearing in the crowd.


	13. An Unwanted Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promised a much shorter wait this time! Yay! Although you might not like me very much after this chapter.... ;)

It was only when the crowd had thinned and his parents started making their way toward the stage that Dean found the ability to move his limbs again. He took a couple of staggering steps forward toward his family, moving blindly through the dwindling mass of people. He hugged back when his mother stood on his toes to envelope him tightly in her arms, offered a pained smile when his father clapped him on the shoulder. Only Sam seemed to notice something was off in Dean’s expression, narrowing his eyes before hugging his brother.

“You okay?” He asked in a hushed voice.

“Later.” Dean mumbled, playfully shoving his brother off before giving his family a more genuine smile, which faltered a moment later.

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asked nervously.

“Oh they ran back to start setting up.” Mary explained, grasping her son’s hand tightly to lead him through the crowd, John and Sam in tow.

“Oh...right.”

The barbeque. It had only made sense for the two families to just have one big graduation party in the Winchesters’ backyard. Which meant Dean would see Cas. Which meant he would have to come up with something to say.

The whole ride home Dean sat in his own little bubble in the backseat, staring out the window as the houses flew by.

If Dean was honest with himself, which he rarely was, Dean knew he had feelings for Cas. Feelings he had not planned to act on. He knew Cas inside and out, better than he knew himself. He never wanted to jeopardize such an amazing friendship on the chance that Cas didn’t like him back. Dean was comfortable with that, comfortable knowing that they would be nothing more than friends. They had promised each other a long time ago that they would always be together, no matter who they met or where they went, and Dean was happy with that.

And now Cas, with his innocent blue eyes and timid kiss, had thrown all that comfortability out the window. Now all Dean wanted was to pull Cas into his arms and kiss him like he meant it. Without freezing or over thinking.

Did they need to talk about it? Could Dean just walk up and do that? In front of his family and friends without hesitation?

….Maybe they should talk about it first. Leave the kissing to somewhere more private. Cas wasn’t one for grand gestures anyway.

Or so Dean thought until Cas went and kissed him in front of the whole damned school and ruined the life he had carefully planned out around never telling his best friend how he felt.

“Dean...we’re here.” Sam said quietly, poking his brother in the side.

“Oh...right.” Dean mumbled again, pushing open the door and slamming it shut behind him.

Mary and John had already headed out back, greeted with cheerful hellos and several hugs. Dean started to follow, but Sam grabbed at his jacket.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

Dean looked over his shoulder at the crowd waiting outside but nodded, veering off into the kitchen instead.

“What’s up, Sammy?”

“Look...I saw you guys at graduation…”

“Saw who what?” Dean frowned.

“You and Cas.”

Dean blinked in surprise before rubbing the back of his neck, a nervous habit he picked up from his father.

“Ah…” Was all he managed to say.

“And I’m happy for you guys-”

“No, Sam look, you got it wrong-”

“You mean you two weren’t kissing?”

“Well...I mean we were, but-”

“But your big head got in the way and scared him off, didn’t it?” Sam asked knowingly, pursing his lips in the classic bitch face, just like his mother.

Dean hung his head and sighed, “Maybe.”

“How do you feel about him?”

“I...I like him a lot, Sam. You know that.”

“Good. Then I’m not the one you should be telling.”

“I can’t just walk up to him and sign I-LIKE-YOU!” Dean exclaimed. “It’s not that easy!”

“Why not?” Sam asked with raised eyebrows. “Why can’t it be that easy?”

“Because he’s...he’s Cas! He’s special! He deserves more than that...more than me.”

“Stop putting yourself down, moron. You two are perfect for each other. He likes you, even if you don’t think you’re good enough. You’re what he wants. So go tell him you feel the same way so I don’t have to watch the two of you stare at each other anymore.”

Dean glowered at him, but gave him an affectionate punch on the arm. “Bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam grinned, shoving him toward the back door.

But getting Cas alone was not so easy at a barbeque with the entirety of both their families. Hugs from every aunt, uncle, and cousin were in order, not to mention handshakes from most of Cas’s family. Food was shoved in his direction, which he ate gratefully even though he couldn’t taste anything because he was so nervous. And when he finally saw Cas by the drinks, his mouth went so dry the biscuit he’d been eating stuck to the roof of his mouth and he had a five minute coughing fit. By the time he composed himself and wiped the tears from his eyes, Cas was gone again.

“Dammit.” He muttered, peering over the sea of heads in search of that familiar brown mop of hair.

Dean wandered through the crowd, smiling dutifully to each passing family member while he looked.

He finally found his friend under one of the trees, trying to find a bit of shade from the harsh Kansas sun.

“Hi…” Dean signed as he approached. Cas gave him a small smile, ducking his head as a blush colored his cheeks.

“Look-Blue-”

“Dean, I like to apologize.” Cas said firmly, interrupting what Dean had been trying to sign. His hands froze. “I shouldn’ have done it.”

“What? No-listen-”

“Faster if I sign.” Cas said quickly before raising his hands. “I-don’t-know-what-came-over-me. I-know-that-you-are-not-interested-in-anything-more-than-friendship-with-me. It-was-a-mistake-kissing-you-like-that. We-are-going-to-college-together-in-the-fall-and-I-don’t-want-it-to-be-awkward-between-us.”

Dean could only stare at him, jaw slack and hanging open. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think.  
“Dean?” Cas finally asked.

“But-”

“M’ sorry. I p’omise nothing’ll change between us.” Cas said firmly with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Without another word, he hugged Dean tightly and made his way over to where Mary was waving at him.

Dean stared at the spot where Cas had once been. He could have gone after him. He could have held on to him, told him he was wrong. But he never got the chance. Cas thought it was a mistake.

When Dean looked up again, Sam was watching him with worried eyes.

Dean just shook his head once, not sticking around long enough to see Sam’s face crumple as he bolted back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooooo I'm sorry for the turn I made them take! (I promise Destiel is endgame so don't worry! They will be together!) But what did you think?? Let me know! Love hearing from you! xoxo


	14. “You don’ like him, do you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry about the tease from the last chapter, hopefully these will offer you a little less drama. Getting closer to them coming together, I promise! xoxo

Dean could hear them outside. The muted voices in the hall outside their dorm room. The hushed whispers and the shared laughter. Dean glared accusingly at the door before turning his computer up to all the way, coincidentally blasting the Darth Vader theme up to full volume. One of the voices in the hall faltered and a moment later the sound of keys in the lock signalled someone was coming inside. Dean prayed that someone would be alone.

Cas gave one last smile to the obnoxious blond sophomore outside their room before closing the door and turning around. He gave Dean a wave as he crossed the room to his bed, tossing his keys into the bowl by the door.

Dean didn’t move from his slouched position on the bed, staring blankly at the computer in front of him as the characters ran across the screen.

“Everything okay?” Cas asked after a silent moment passed between them. Dean looked up and forced a smile.

“Fine-Blue.”

Cas scrunched his eyes and stood up, padding across the room and plopping down beside his friend. He smiled when he saw the movie playing.

“Sta’ted withou’ me?”

“You-were-running-late.” Dean signed back, trying not to make the signs seem so snippy. He made up for it by turning on the subtitles, even though Cas had the movie memorized by now.

“Sor’y.” Cas sighed, scooting closer so he could see the screen better. Dean pursed his lips but didn’t comment.

Lately Cas’s closeness had been taking its toll on Dean. He had never been bothered by the fact that he couldn’t just reach out and throw an arm around his friend. That when they held hands it meant nothing more to them that friendship. That every night Cas went out with his stupid boyfriend and Dean stayed alone in their room too miserable to even do homework.

It wasn’t Cas’s fault; he was moving on. Dean knew it was all on him.

Cas had been true to his word over the summer; nothing had changed between the pair of them. They still had breakfast and dinner at each other’s houses every day. They still used their special code names for each other, still laughed and still texted until three in the morning even though they had seen each other just hours before. It was like the kiss at graduation never happened.

And long after Dean set his phone down, in the wee hours of the morning when he should be asleep, Dean was staring at the ceiling, mentally tearing himself apart for his mistake.

Every night Dean went over that moment in his head when Cas hugged him and walked away, wishing he had done something different. He knew he should have gone after him, grabbed him and pulled him back into his arms. Told him how much he cared about him. Showed him it wasn’t a mistake.

But Dean didn’t, and as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, it seemed even harder to bring the subject up with Cas.

Dean tried, on several occasions he tried, but the signs got stuck on the tips of his fingers, his mind turning into mush and his eyes darting away from his friend, who was watching him with those familiar squinty eyes and pinched lips.

In the fall they were packed up and shipped off to school. Both had gotten scholarships to the University of Michigan, where Cas would be going for Art and Design, and Dean would be studying engineering while playing on the baseball team. Because of Cas’s condition, the school allowed the pair of them to stay together instead of separating them in the dorms.

Dean thought, surely, a year in confined space with his best friend would give him the guts to finally tell his friend the truth after beating around it all summer.

And then Castiel came back from his first day of school gushing about some weirdo named “Balthazar”, a sophomore in two of his classes. He really wasn’t a weirdo, he would have seemed nice if Dean didn’t hate him so much.

He was all Cas could talk about, every day coming back to their room with a new story to tell, those wide blue eyes staring dreamily off into space as he described whatever miraculous thing Balthazar had said or done. Soon they were going out to dinner every other night, cheerfully hanging out during lunch and exchanging texts late into the night to the point where Dean started sleeping with his headphones on to block out the noise and keep himself from doing something stupid. Like throwing Cas’s phone to the floor and stomping on it. Or professing his undying love. Whichever.

It took three weeks of their little outings for Dean to finally admit the unthinkable.

They were dating.

Dean didn’t need Cas to tell him that, it was obvious with the constant texts and ever present heart eyes. Cas was in love. Cas had moved on.

He tried to be happy for his friend, who seemed genuinely pleased with his...boyfriend. But when Dean was alone knowing the pair of them were off doing god knows what, his stomach curled and an unnatural sting poked at Dean’s eyes. He hated it because that could have been him three months ago, and he had missed his chance. Now Cas was happy, and who was Dean to stop them? If a cocky blond bastard was who Cas wanted, then Dean would let him be happy.

“Dean?”

Dean looked up, not realizing he had been staring at Cas’s shoulder for the past five minutes.

“Is some’ing wrong?”

Dean just shook his head, eyes sliding back to the screen. The movie was almost over.

Cas prodded his side, making Dean sigh and look up again. He didn’t want to talk about it because he would probably do something stupid. And then Cas would leave him. He would transfer dorms and hate Dean forever. Or something like that.

“Lying. Why?”

Dean didn’t answer, looking over Cas’s shoulder.

“About Balthzar?” Cas still struggled a little with the name, but had improved after saying it repeatedly over the past few weeks.

Again, Dean didn’t answer, but the way his jaw clenched was enough for Cas, who ducked his head and looked down at his hands.

“You don’ like him, do you?”

No, no, no this is NOT what Dean wanted to happen!

Dean took his hand, squeezing it gently and Cas looked up, a faint blush in his cheeks. His eyes were guarded, repressing something, but Dean ignored it.

“He-makes-you-happy, so-I’m-happy.” Dean signed firmly.

“Are you sure?” Cas asked nervously.

“You-really-seem-to-like-him. I’m-sure-I-will-if-I-get-to-know-him.”

That was not at all what Dean should have said, because what followed made his stomach drop to the floor.

“You come with us!” Cas exclaimed, “We’re goin’ to dinner tomo’ow, you could come!” His eyes were bright and excited, clutching Dean’s hand tightly, like it was a lifeline. He searched Dean’s face when Dean didn’t respond. He forced it into a mask of delight at the offer, even though he was dying inside and wanted to go hide in the library again.

“Sure-Blue. That-sounds-great.” Cas’s smile grew wide and he pulled out his phone, presumably to text his...boyfriend.

Dean tapped him on the shoulder and Cas looked up. “Just...no-chick-flick-moments-while-I’m-around...okay?”

Cas frowned at him in confusion that Dean didn’t understand, but nodded all the same.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Balthazar is one of my favorite SPN characters so I promise I'm not making him a bad guy!!) Hope you all enjoyed! Next chapter is up!


	15. The Black Cat Bistro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter because I didn't want to wait to write more. Hope you enjoy!! <3

This was going to suck. There was no other way to put it. It was going to suck and why the hell had Dean agreed to this in the first place? Oh right, Cas was sad and he signed something stupid to make it better and now he was being dragged through town by the hand toward somewhere called “The Black Cat Bistro”, which already sounded much fancier than anything Dean had ever been to in his life, which meant he had to find something nicer to wear than flannel and a t-shirt. Balthazar recommended the restaurant...of course.

It was like a scene from a movie when they walked up. Leaning against the brick wall, legs crossed and arms folded, stood Balthazar, clad in a black blazer and a gray V-neck much too low for comfort. Had he purposely picked the spot with the best lightly, hitting him over the head like a spotlight? Cas dropped Dean’s hand as the approached and Dean looked down at his now empty hand like it had offended him, but followed his friend without a word.

Balthazar smirked when he saw them, pushing off the wall and walking slowly toward them. Dean was pleased, for some childlike reason, that he was taller.

“Hello Cassie.” Balthazar said as they approached, wrapping an arm around Cas’s shoulder and pulling him against his side.

Dean froze, clenching his jaw, face hardening in an instant. He was not expecting the accent. Not at all. And Cassie? Cas let Balthazar call him Cassie? That just wasn’t right. Cas gave Balthazar a small smile and then looked back at Dean.

“Dean, this is Balthazar.” Cas introduced, “Balthazar, this is Dean.”  
“I’ve heard so much about you.” Balthazar said, sounding sincere enough as he extended a hand to shake. Dean shook it quickly, probably a little tighter than necessary. And then he was hit with a serious dilemma.  

He never talked in front of Cas. Not to anyone. His parents had learned sign language just so he wouldn’t have to say anything when his friend was around. His eyes darted to Cas, panic stricken, when Balthazar cut in.

“I’ve got a table waiting inside, if you are ready to go in.” He said, nodding toward the door. Cas walked in before them and Balthazar stayed behind with Dean.

“He told me you don’t generally talk around him. Says he really appreciates it. I understand sign language so you can sign, if you want, so you don’t have to talk.” He said in a generous tone that caught Dean off guard. He stared at him, with a suspicious frown before finally cracking the smallest of smiles.

“Thanks.” He said quickly, before following Cas inside.

True to his word, there were no chick-flick moments between the pair of them other than Balthazar having an arm draped across his shoulders during dinner, which Dean just ignored. It was somewhat pleasant, though Dean would never admit that, even to himself.

Dean had been right in thinking the place was fancy. It was the kind that served everything on clean white plates with little designs made out of dressing. Where food was made to look like obscure artwork and everything came out nestled in a bed of inedible, decorative lettuce. Dean stared at his “burger” when it came out. It didn’t look like a burger, not with three sticks poked through it and the toppings strewn across the plate for him to assemble himself. He caught Cas’s eye, who was busy trying remove the skewers from his shrimp and pushing the unwanted lettuce off his plate. He gave Dean a knowing grin that was meant to say “behave” before going back to his food. A nasty habit he had picked up from Mary.

When their plates were cleared, Cas excused himself to go to the bathroom, leaving Dean and Balthazar alone.

Talk about awkward.

They glanced at each other before breaking into uneasy smiles.

A moment of silence passed between them before Balthazar spoke.

“You like him, don’t you?” It wasn’t an accusation, more of an observation, but it made Dean jerk upright in defense.

“I-what? No!” He almost shouted, making the old lady at the table next to theirs glare at them. He gave her an apologetic smile before turning back to the, now smirking, boyfriend. “No, I don’t.” He hissed and Balthazar shrugged.

“I don’t blame you. He’s a great guy. Think he has you to thank for that.” It was meant to be a compliment, but Dean just glowered at him.

Another beat of silence and then, “He likes you too, you know.”  
Dean blinked, mouth falling open and Balthazar smirked. “No...no he doesn’t...anymore.” Dean stammered. “He’s got you.” He added, waving a hand in the blond’s direction.

“Got me?” Balthazar asked, eyes narrowed in confusion.

“Yeah, you two’re...you know.” Dean waved his hand vaguely between the man in front of him and the bathroom. “You know.” He repeated.

“I’m not sure I’m following, Dean.” He countered, folding his hands together and bracing against the table.

“You two are dating.” Dean hissed through clenched teeth.

Balthazar’s eyes widened for a moment and then he started to laugh. The old lady glared at them again, but Dean was too busy staring at the man across from him to notice.

“Cassie and I are most certainly not dating.” He said firmly when his laughter had died down to chuckles. Dean stared at him.

“You’re……...not?”

“No. Not even a little.”

“But...you guys go out all the time! You text until four in the goddamn morning!”

“Yes...sorry about that.” He said with a wide smile that showed he wasn’t sorry at all.

“How-how?”

“I like him, I do, but there is no way I would date Cassie. Not when he can’t stop talking about you for more than five minutes.” Balthazar said. There was no humor in his voice, showing that he was telling the truth.

“He...he can’t?”

“No. You two have some strange profound bond thing going on. I don't want to mess with that.” Now he was joking, a small smile on his lips. “You should make a move though, and soon. Castiel is a wonderful guy. He won’t be on the market for long. With eyes like that and such a winning personality, who wouldn't fall for him?"

Cas chose that moment to slide back in beside his friend (apparently).

“You two find some’ing good to talk about?” He asked apprehensively, still hopeful that the two of them would get along. 

“We sure did, Cassie.” Balthazar answered with a grin in Dean’s direction. Dean grinned at Cas and nodded.

_We sure did._

__**  
**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Black Cat Bistro is an actual restaurant two miles from Michigan State University. The food actually looks like that too!


	16. Airport Worries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG HIATUS!! Please forgive me! Long story short, I broke a rib and have been stuck between the doctor and work. Ugh. Two more chapters for you lovelies and I and I am terribly sorry!!! Love you all! Hope you enjoy! xoxoxoxo

Dean couldn’t stop laughing at the expression on Cas’s face when he tripped and fell into the snowbank. He looked completely bewildered, flat on his back with his arms in the air like an upended turtle. He glowered at Dean, who was too busy doubled over and wheezing to help his friend up, and rolled over, pushing himself up and stomping toward the waiting Greyhound bus.

Dean scrambled after him, slipping on an ice patch in his haste and sliding the rest of the way down the sidewalk on his ass. Cas had to lean against bus to support himself he while he laughed himself to the point of tears. Dean stuck his tongue out and lobbed a ball of snow at him, hitting him square in the face. Just as his friend bent down to retaliate, there was a sharp sigh from behind them.

“Boys, break it up or I will get on the bus and pay the driver to leave without you.” Balthazar drawled, bundled up a sleek black coat, head bent to keep the lower half of his face shielded from the wind.

“You-are-no-fun.” Dean signed, elbowing him on the way onto the bus. Cas followed with a chuckle, shaking the snow out of his hair.

The bus ride to Detroit Airport was only an hour; but that was long enough for Dean to complain about having to fly back to Kansas. Balthazar pointed out it was only an hour long flight, unlike his five hour trek to San Francisco. But that didn’t matter; Dean hated flying and his terror was evident the second they stepped off the bus and Cas tried to pull Dean into the airport. He wouldn’t have traveled by plane at all if Addeline hadn’t bought them tickets to fly home for Christmas. He had been perfectly content to rent a car and drive for ten hours. Or even taking the train, which might have been even longer, but he could sleep and eat good food and walk around as he pleased. In a plane, he was screwed. There was no escape, other than in a cramped bathroom or a thirty thousand foot plummet back to Earth. 

“You-know-what...I-think-I’ll-take-the-train-home.” He started, wheeling around in an attempt to get back on the bus but Cas caught his hand, offering him a gentle smile that, under any other circumstances, would have calmed him down. Today, he just squeezed the offered hand in an iron death grip and allowed himself to be dragged inside,  Balthazar watching the pair of them with a smirk.

The three of them checked their bags together and made their way through the crowd of Christmas commuters, all laden with more carry on bags than Dean thought was allowed, many decked out in obnoxious holiday sweaters. It didn’t make Dean any less uneasy; in fact, the bright mix of red and green swarming around him was making him nauseated.

Balthazar’s flight was on the opposite side of the airport and delayed another two hours because of the snow, so he planned on departing with them at the security check. Cas bid him farewell with a brief hug and a wave, getting a spot in line and waiting for Dean to follow.

He and Balthazar were not close enough than any kind of hug was appropriate, so Dean stuck out his hand to shake. Balthazar took it and, instead, pulled him closer, which made Dean lean back in surprise.

“Dude, what-?”

“You remember what we talked about?” Balthazar asked, tilting his head so Cas wouldn’t see his lips move. Dean froze but nodded apprehensively.

Two nights ago, Balthazar had cornered Dean at the dorm’s Christmas party, which Dean was only at because Cas wanted to go. Not his idea of a good time, but some of Cas's art friends were going to be there and Cas insisted his roommate come along. So Dean stood dutifully in the corner, nursing a bottle of Coke that he brought for himself, while everyone else got increasingly tipsy from whatever was in the punch.

Balthazar strolled over about an hour in, leaning against the wall beside Dean. “You have GOT to do something about Cassie.” He suddenly insisted, shaking his head and motioning in Cas’s direction, where he was chatting a classmate Dean had never seen.

“What?” Dean spluttered in surprise.

“I’m tired of it. I just finished an immensely fascinating conversation about the color of your eyes.” He explained, voice dripping with sarcasm as he shot Dean a dirty look, “And all the while, said eyes were staring at him. Surprised you didn’t burn a hole in the back of Cas's skull it was so intense.” Balthazar complained while prodding Dean in the shoulder. Dean shook him off with narrowed eyes.

“What do you expect me to do about it?” Dean hissed angrily.

“Kiss the living daylights out of him preferably. That would make him shut up for a couple of minutes.” Balthazar suggested, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Dean stared at him, stuck between a glower and and grimace so he just looked confused.

“Look, it’s clear you both made mistakes back in June that you regret and something needs to be done about it. You’re miserable. Cas doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, but he’s not happy and clearly head over heels in love with you. You’ll both be happier if you just get over it and get it on.”

Dean blushed and glowered at Balthazar, who offered him a playful smirk.

“But….I-”

Balthazar quickly cut him off, “It’s Christmas time, season of miracles and forgiveness or whatever, the perfect time to make a move. I highly doubt he’ll turn you down.”

Back in the airport, Balthazar was watching him, clearly able to see Dean replaying that awkward conversation in his mind.

“Yeah...yeah I remember.”

“You’d better do something about it or I’ll kick both of your asses. Got it?”

Dean rolled his eyes and nodded, playfully shoving Balthazar off him with a grin. 

“Good, now have a wonderful Christmas.” Baltazar departed cheerfully, turning around and heading the opposite direction, leaving Dean to catch up to Cas in line.

 


	17. A Christmas Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this crazy headcanon that Mary would go all out on Christmas time. Crazy sweaters and decorations, the whole nine yards. So have some wonderful Christmas fluff between the Winchester, Novaks...and maybe Destiel. ;) Again, I'm so sorry for the hiatus! Being hurt sucks!!   
> (PS there will be only one, maybe two chapters after this! But I am thinking of making into a series...let me know if you all would be interested????)

Christmas morning dawned bright and cold, a light dusting of snow covering the browning grass on the front lawn. Frost covered the windows, the chill pressing through the glass and into the house, where Dean was buried under every blanket he owned and still freezing. He hid his face from the sunlight, burying it in the pillow and willing himself to fall back asleep.

He hadn’t gotten much the night before, too busy replaying his conversation with Balthazar in his head, desperately trying to find a way to bring it up with Castiel. He’d have to get him alone; there was no way he could have any kind of meaningful conversation in front of his brother, or his father. He wouldn’t be able to stand the Bambi eyes they would make or the embarrassing jokes they would crack.

No, they would have the be alone. How the hell could Dean do that when they were having Christmas dinner together?

“DUDE GET UP!” Sam shouted from the floor below, pounding on the ceiling. “WE’RE WAITING!”

Dean groaned, shoving the blankets away and rubbing his eyes. He checked his phone before getting out of bed. One new message.

**_Merry Christmas Dean. ^.^_ **

Dean smiled down at the message, his panic momentarily forgotten. He glanced over to his bedside table, where a dusty plastic case was sitting. Inside, still untouched because Dean had refused to play with it in case it got ruined, was his 1967 Chevy Impala model from over ten years ago. He beamed at it and then quickly texted his friend back.

**_Merry Christmas Cas. :)_ **

“About damn time, boy.” John said as Dean slumped down the stairs in his Christmas slippers. His mother always got the family a new pair every year. John was begrudgingly wearing his; Frosty the Snowman. Sam’s appeared to Christmas moose. Dean’s had dancing Christmas trees on them. At least they were warm.

Sam caught sight of Dean’s bloodshot eyes and rolled his own. “Coffee’s in the kitchen.”

Dean grinned, ruffling his hair as he passed and Sam swatted his hand away.

“Jerk.” He called after him and Dean smirked, pouring himself a generous mug of steaming coffee. It smelled like peppermint. His mom must have bought some kind of holiday blend.

“Bitch.” Dean answered when he came back in the room, prodding Sam with the toe of his dancing tree slippers.

“Boys.” Mary said sternly, though she smiled fondly before pushing them toward the tree. “Picture first and then presents. Dean put the coffee down for two seconds please. Sam, a serious picture, stop making duck lips at me!” The two of them laughed, slinging arms around each other’s shoulders and smiling for the camera.

“Good. Now get to work.” She urged, shoeing them back to the tree.

In the hours that followed Dean didn’t have any more time to think about his friend. He was in and out of the kitchen, wearing a ridiculous Christmas apron with a Santa face on it, covered in flour, most of them time with his hands buried in stuffing or peeling potatoes, maybe chopping onions or stirring the gravy. This year it was Mary’s turn to do dinner, and she clearly was not happy about it, snapping at Dean, who just grinned cheerfully and hummed along to the holiday music she had playing, knowing full well if he snapped back she would throw a pot at him.

Sam was no help. Any task he was given resulted in him eating half of what was handed to him, even when Mary gave him the simple task of peeling celery for the stuffing.

“Gimme that!” Dean growled, snatching the bowl and peering inside. Half the celery was missing. “Dude!”

“Wha-? I’m hungry!” Sam complained around a mouthful of food and Dean shoved him out of the kitchen.

An hour later, turkey fresh out of the oven, the doorbell rang.

“I got it!” Dean shouted from the kitchen, running through the house to the door and yanking it open.

Cas and Addeline were waiting on the doorstep, arms laden with Christmas presents Dean knew his mother would scold them for later.

Dean waved them inside, taking the armful of presents from Addeline and setting them under the tree beside with the remaining lump of presents left for Cas and his mother.

“Oh I told you all not to go through all that trouble.” Addeline scolded with narrowed eyes and Dean grinned.

“You got a little…” Cas motioned to Dean’s face and he frowned, raising his hands and wiping his forehead. “No...here.” Cas reached out and swept a thumb over Dean’s chin, wiping away the offending smudge of flour. Dean ignored the tingles in his skin and the way Cas’s hand lingered a little too long cupping his chin before dropping back to his side.

Hours later, when everyone was so full they couldn’t stand for more than five minutes, the six of them made their way back into the living room, Charlie Brown Christmas playing on the television while they huddled around the Christmas tree. Sam was sprawled out on the floor and falling into a doze, so Dean started piling wadded up wrapping paper on top of him, much to Cas’s amusement.

“Dean…” Mary sighed, throwing her own clump at him and Dean grinned, his retort interrupted by Sam flailing awake when one of the balls of paper rolled onto his face.

“Wuzzgoinon?” He spluttered, sitting up and dislodging the pile of cheerful paper with a look of puppy worthy confusion.

“Wake-up-S-a-m-a-n-t-h-a, it’s-present-time.” Dean smirked and Sam glared at him before flipping him off.

Cas and Sam exchanged gifts first; Sam got him a set of new charcoal pencils and Cas got Sam a sweatshirt from his dream school (Stanford). Sam’s eyes lit up as he stuffed it over his head, frizzing his hair and getting his arms stuck in the sleeves but he didn’t care, grinning broadly when he finally got it into place and admiring himself in the mirror.

“Thanks!” He signed back and Cas smiled.

The parents exchanged next while Dean and Cas traded; the new pair of baseball cleats Dean hadn’t been able to afford on his part time coffee shop salary at school and a book of famous artwork for Cas.

After flipping through most of the book with awed eyes, Cas reached into his bag and pulled out something, rifling through its pages before turning to Mary. Timidly, a shy expression on his face, he silently held out a sheet of paper to her. She frowned and took it, turning it over in her hands.

“Oh Cas!” She gasped, staring down at it in shock. She quickly flipped it over to show Dean, John, and Sam.

Dean eyes widened in shock, Sam letting out a low whistle.

On the page, sketched from memory, because there was no photograph like that, stood Dean, Sam, and Cas. Dean was in the middle, with his arms slung around Sam and Cas's shoulders, hugging them to his sides, a wide grin on his face. Sam was laughing, bent over so he was the same size as his brother, holding onto Dean’s hand like he was trying to pull it off. Cas was grinned brightly, his eyes shining even through the black and white pencil marks. That familiar, warm smile that Dean loved.

Dean’s eyes flicked over to his friend, who was blushing from the intense scrutiny of his work. Marry set the paper down and pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly. He smiled and hugged back, smiling at Dean over her shoulder.

That’s when he saw it. On the floor beside his friend was a blue sketchbook. It was new, still sleek and shining, but the image on the cover wasn’t. It was cut out, taped and glued onto the blue top, the edges of the cardboard frayed and worn. It was bee. A cartoon bee with a smiling face and little silver wings. The same bee that had been on that cheesy sketchbook Dean got his friend fifteen years ago.

Dean stared at it for a long time, long after Mary had stopped gushing about the drawing and hung it up over the mantelpiece, only breaking his gaze when Cas swept it up off the floor and placed it back in his bag. Would if be frowned upon if he just went over and kissed him senseless now? The sudden elbow in the ribs from Sam who caught him staring said yes.

“Oh great…” Mary’s voice floated from the kitchen.

“Everything okay?” Addeline asked.  

“Yeah...it looks we forgot to get hot chocolate.” Mary called back.

“We have some at home.” Addeline replied when Mary came back into the room. She leaned over a tapped Cas on the shoulder. “Could-you-run-home-and-get-the-hot-chocolate?”

“Sure.” Cas nodded, standing up and stretching. Dean blinked and then jumped up.

“I’ll go with you.”

Cas quirked an eyebrow. “I think I can handle it on my own.” He said playfully. Dean just rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand, tugging him out the door. This was the only chance at alone time he would get. 

The thin layer of snow crunched under their boots as they rushed down the sidewalk, slipping and sliding against their best efforts, clutching onto each other’s arms and giggling the whole way.

When they finally stumbled into the house, frozen and laughing, Cas pushed Dean off and headed for the kitchen, leaving Dean in the foyer. He took his time following, using it to collect his thoughts. He had no game plan, no clue what he wanted to say. His hands clammed up so he stuffed them into his pockets, forcing an expression of calm nonchalance as he entered the kitchen.

Cas was bustling around, going from cabinet to cabinet in search of the hidden hot chocolate, standing on his toes to see better.

“Dean, can you help me?” He called, knowing his friend was close. He looked over his shoulder to make sure, grinning when he found Dean standing in the doorway. But when Dean didn’t move, he peered curiously at him from across the room, lowering his arms.

“What’s wrong?”

Dean shuffled his feet, awkwardly forcing himself to move a few steps forward.  

“Dean?” He asked curiously, eyes scrunched in a familiar look of confusion while he tried to read Dean’s masked expression.

“...Can-we-talk?”

“Of course.”

“...About-last-June?”

Cas’s shoulders rose, like a cat on the defense. He took a generous step back, bumping into the kitchen table. He stood frozen against it, a clear war of emotions flitting across his face faster than Dean could follow.

“Dean...we talked about it...we forget it ever happened.” Cas whispered, voice guarded and apprehensive.

“No...no- _we_ -didn’t-talk-about-it…” Dean corrected, moving a little closer.

Cas stared at him, hurt crossing his otherwise fearful face. “Was a mistake.”

Now it was Dean’s turn to look hurt, eyes downcast as he toed at a mark in the tile floor. Without looking up, he signed, “Why?”

“I...I” Cas trailed off, blinking rapidly, brows furrowed in confusion. “I didn’ want to lose you...you don’ feel the same way so I...I thought-”

Dean cut him off by striding forward, closing the distance between them in two short steps. Cas’s mouth snapped shut as he peered shyly up at his friend. Dean grasped one of his hands gently, the other sweeping Cas’s unruly hair from his forehead.

Balthazar’s words echoed briefly in his head; “Kiss the living daylights out of him preferably.”

“Dean?” Cas whispered, not to bring him closer or push him away. It was a question. Was this what he wanted? Was he really ready to change everything? To take a step into territory completely uncharted a foreign to both of them?

Yes. Yes he was.

So Dean met the cautious blue eyes swimming with hope and nodded once. And Cas smiled, hands rising to cup his cheeks, thumbs sweeping over cheekbones as he gazed up at his friend. Dean smiled back as he bent down, eyes tracking Cas’s until the last possible moment, the moment when he slipped them closed and touched their lips together for what felt like the first time. Slow and unhurried. Gentle and carefree. With no eyes on them, no fear in their minds. Just the two of them holding each other close, fresh snow falling outside, with all the time in the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?? Please let me know! (And if you didn't see the note at the top, there will only be a chapter or two left, but I am thinking about making it a series, if you guys would be interested! Let me know!!) :D <3


	18. Tell Me A Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty everyone!! This is the last chapter!!!! Not the end of the story, I will be continuing it in a series because I have lots of ideas for these two. Thank you all so much for reading!!! Love you!!! xoxoxo

The roar of the engine was enough to announce Dean’s presence from three blocks away. He slowed down to swing into the driveway of the little house at the end of the block. A white house with blue shutters, a large, messy garden in the front yard humming with bees and chirping with birds.

Dean was older now, something he resented and often didn’t acknowledge. Laugh lines creased his eyes and there was a little softness around his stomach that, no matter how many sit ups he did, just didn’t seem to go away.

There were other changes too that came with age. Though he still preferred his layers, Dean wore a suit and tie most days. That came with the job, being a leading contractor. He couldn’t show up to interview clients in a Metallica t-shirt, flannel, and work boots. When he was working with the But the change he was most proud of was the gleaming gold wedding band on his left hand.

A face appeared in the window when the car pulled up, a little face framed with blonde curls. A wide smile broke over her little face and she waved. Dean grinned, showing off those laugh lines as he waved back.

Dean grabbed his briefcase, which would likely go unopened, but he had to at least say he tried. Jogging up the brick walkway and up the steps, he quickly opened the door. It was always unlocked. 

“Daddy!” Someone called from the other room and Dean laughed, shrugging out of his stuffy blazer and hanging it on the hook by the door, dropping his briefcase to the floor.

What he was expecting was that little head of blonde curls to skip around the corner. He was not planning on her appearing seven feet in the air on his husband’s shoulders, giggling and clutching onto his head.

Castiel smiled, glancing up at her before picking her up over his head and passing her off to Dean.

“Hey baby girl.” He said with a wide smile, kissing her sloppily on the forehead and she giggled, squinting up at him. He glanced at Cas with an apologetic smile and Cas shook his head. It was alright that Dean spoke around Claire and he knew it, but he always apologized anways.

“Daddy, I los’ my firs’ tooth today!” Claire exclaimed, leaning back to point at the missing front tooth.

“You did!” Dean said in shock, making her nod frantically. “Look at you all grown up. Maybe the tooth fairy will visit tonight.”

“Leave me a present?” Her eyes widened in awe, a wide, toothy smile appearing on her face. Her breath whistled through her missing front tooth.

“We’ll see.” Dean said in mock uncertainty.

Later that night, as Dean tucked Claire into bed, pulling her bumble bee comforter up to her chin, she looked up at her with wide blue eyes. She may have been adopted, but her eyes looked just like her father’s.

“Daddy, will you tell me a story?” She asked as he turned off the light, switching on her night light which shined stars on the ceiling. Claire smiled up at them, squeezing her Grumpy Cat tight to her chest.

“A story?” Dean whined, making her giggle.

“Yes, Daddy, a story.”

“Ugh, fine!” He sighed, turning toward the little bookshelf beside her bed, ready to pull out one of the worn out children's books. Maybe they would read a chapter of Harry Potter tonight.

“No, no, not one of dose.” She scolded and he looked up with a frown just as Cas appeared in the doorway.

“Not one of those?”

“Nope. I want you to tell me a new story.” Claire said firmly and he watched her with narrowed eyes.

"A new story." He repeated and she nodded earnestly. 

“Yes. I want you to tell me how you’n Papa met.”

Dean raised his eyebrows and glanced up at Cas, who was watching with a small smile. He raised his right hand and signed what she had said for him. Cas’s eyes brightened and he walked into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I think I’d like you to tell that story too.” Cas interjected and Claire clapped her hands together.

“Yay! Tell us, Daddy!”

“Fine.” Dean sighed, flopping down beside her on the bed and she shuffled closer, leaning her head on his arm.

“It was a long, long time ago. In a town far, far away.” Dean began dramatically and Claire giggle.

“At Gramma and Grandpa’s?”

“Yes, at Gramma and Grandpa’s.” He said and she smiled.

“And Papa...well he was the boy next door.”

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you all think??? Please leave a comment below letting me know what you thought! Love hearing from you! xoxo


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